Being a Gentleman.

Lets first ask ourselves, is it tough?
Followed by another one, To be, or not to be?
And lets keep the answers to ourselves.

The big thing about conduct has always been the timing, and that traditionally has been dictated by the tone and tenor of the occasion. The old English culture of gentlemenship was overtaken long back by the sheer grossness of the Americans. In this regards, India has done well to somehow retain this colonial legacy. The Indian Administrative services and the defence sector can be considered the flag bearers in this regard. But then the impact of such institutions is limited to the upper strata of the Indian society and the executive in particular has developed an impregnable wall towards this particular trait of personality. This makes it all the more important for this culture of etiquettes to penetrate to the bottom of the pyramid.

Etiquette has to do with good manners. It's not so much our own good manners, but making other people feel comfortable by the way we behave. So it's more or less thinking of others and how others perceive us: So that everyone knows the rules for doing things and everyone is in a very comfortable position in society.Believe it or not, etiquette - or good manners, if you like that phrase better- is one of those basic principles. Rules of good behavior have been built up over hundreds of years; worthless ones are continually being discarded and those proven to be useful are kept and improved upon.

Many experts say that etiquette is simply showing respect for others and yourself at the same time. So, even though aspects of good manners do vary from place to place and some rules may be added or "tweaked" to keep up with technology or lifestyles - the foundation of etiquette, its meaning, will forever remain strong.

The difference of differentiation.

The birth of detective Sherlock Holmes is an example of how we can adopt differentiation as a mantra to attain inimitable success.

Do you know how Sherlock Holmes was born? British author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle combined his love of science and literature to write mystery stories and created a fictional detective – Sherlock Holmes. History was made, because Sir Doyle thought differently than others. He fused his interest and skills to give the world a brilliant and memorable detective that appears as authentic and lifelike as you and me. We too can adopt “differentiation” as a mantra and create history.

To many, life provides an opportunity to stand out in a crowd, away from the herd mentality. However, a number of individuals prefer sticking to a ‘followers or flock’ mentality because it provides for a safety net. The caveat, a safety or comfort net does not lead to eminence. We are all unique in our own way, and the trick is to first find an ‘innate or acquired’ talent or skill, and then adopt an ‘uncommon’ approach to make it a profession or avocation to attain inimitable success. But you can explore your talent and gifts, only if you know yourself – your strengths and weaknesses. The way to this is to reflect on your aptitude and seek feedback from a ‘neutral or independent’ voice i.e. your teacher, professor, coach, instructor, or a career strategist. When you discover what you are made for, you may follow it with oodles of zeal and pursuit of unusual methods.

Observe outstanding artists and performers. They are great examples of individuals who developed a skill or talent, which is ‘difficult to replace or scarce to find.’ Scarcity creates value, and makes it worth more than its weight in gold. You can start by getting noticed through a quality, trait, strength, skill, discipline, or involvement in a series of ‘discerning’ activities to court positive attention. Your statement of difference will start right away.

Across different arenas, accomplished individuals do things out of the ordinary, and overshadow their colleagues or predecessors. For them doing well is not enough. They take new paths. They charter their own course by conjuring a ‘visible’ behaviourial, cerebral, physical, discipline or skill set difference. They build on the difference by taking advantage of creativity, innovation, visuals, images, symbols, substance, and style. They do not walk in the moccasins of somebody else, but carve their own niche through novel measures and rejection of the routine.

The ‘master’ of the art of differentiation challenges assumptions and believes everything is possible, even if there is a one percent chance to ignite a fire. He or she adopts continual improvisation and ingenuity in their acts. As monuments of patience, they know Rome was not built in a day, and believe that small steps towards continuous differentiation leads to extraordinary success in time to come. Nothing stirs a person more than recognition of his or her being ‘truly’ different. You can be famous, but being different calls for a penchant for experimentation and an ability to laugh at your mistakes and failures. Remember, the more you experiment for a purpose, the better you will become at the act of mastering differentiation.

Following the herd is another name for mediocrity. You are in your own way unique and different. Know yourself and discover your key to success – differentiation. If you do not like what I pen, reflect on the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer’s sagacious words, “We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves to be like other people.”

शैतान की जीत .

मुझे इस बात का बिलकुल भी अंदाजा नही है की मनुष्य को सामाजिक प्राणी क्यूँ माना जाता है l मेरे अब तक के निजी अनुभवों के आधार पर मैं यह पूर्ण विश्वास के साथ कह सकता हूँ की मनुष्य विशुद्ध रूप से एक राजनीतिक प्राणी है l विवाद का विषय केवल इतना है की मनुष्य जाति राजनितिक अपने आस पास के वातावरण के कारण बनी, या फिर राजनीतिक होना स्वाभाविक गुण है , उतना ही स्वाभाविक जितना श्वास लेना ? इस प्रश्न से तो डार्विन भी पल्ला झाड गए l

मेरे अनुभव कम रहे हैं, मेरी सोच अपरिपक्व हो सकती है , लेकिन अपने विचारों पर मैं दृढ हूँ l हम हर एक कार्य को करने से पहले भली भाँती मूल्यांकन करते है,  लाभ और हानि की कसौटी पर खरा उतरने के बाद ही किसी कार्य को अंजाम तक पहुचाने की इमानदार कोशिश की जाती हैl  हमारी संवेदनशीलता केवल पाठ्य पुस्तकों में स्थान पाती है , जीवन के रण में हमारी क्रियाशीलता की मांग है , डिमांड है l

इस समस्या की जड़ मनुष्य का यह सोचना है की पृथ्वी के बाकी प्राणियों के अपेक्षा वह उच्चतर कोटि का हैl इस सोच ने घमंड को जन्म दिया, और  झूठे शान को बरकरार रखने के लिए मनुष्य को क्रियाशील बनना पड़ाl भला वह इश्वर जिसे हम पूजते है न्याय का देवता मानते है, अपने ही प्राणियों के बीच भेद भाव क्यूँ करेगा? किसी को शक्ति कम दी तो, किसी को बुद्धि कम दी; बस इसलिए की प्रक्रति का संतुलन बना रहे सारे जीव आपसी तरंमयता के साथ जीवन बसर करें, परन्तु इंसानी सोच ने खुदाई ख्वाब को बर्बाद कर दिया l

फिर तो काबिल बनने की ऐसी दौड़ शुरू हुई, जो की बदस्तूर जारी हैl बाइबल में लिखा है की इश्वर ने मनुष्य को खुद के अंश से बनाया, इंसान इश्वर का बेटा हैl अगर ऐसा है तो हम नित प्रतिदिन संवेदनहीन क्यूँ होते जा रहे है ? सवाल उठता है की मनुष्य महत्वाकान्छी होता है , हर समय अपनी इन्द्रियों पर लगाम कसना आसान भी नही होताl ऐसे में संवेदनशीलता के रंग कैनवास पर कैसे छलके ? बाइबल इसका भी जवाब देती है -" तुम्हे वो मिलेगा जो तुम ढून्ढ रहे हो अगर तुम परमात्मा के सच्चे पुत्र हो l" हमने अपनी किताबों को इतना आराध्य बना दिया की उन्हें खोलने से डर लगने लगा l

आज हर कोई अपने बच्चों को काबिल बना रहा हैl  सही भी हैl अगर कोई बहाव के विपरीत जा कर उन्हें संवेदनशील बनाएगा तो वो पृथ्वी पर इश्वर का सच्चा रूप तो होंगे , परन्तु हारे हुए योद्धा साबित होंगे l

इश्वर हार गया , मानव जीत कर भी हार गया l जीत हुई है तो बस झूठे शान की, शैतान की l

अर्जुन रामपाल ने सही ही कहा था- " तुम हर बरस रावण को इसीलिए जलाते हो क्यूंकि तुम जानते हो वो कभी नहीं मरता l "

Basti Live.

The summers are always long. No matters how good a family you got, or how much money to spend; they do at some point or other start boring you. The point is everybody starts looking out for unconventional ways of killing time.
I am 21, single, with no interest left in my education. I am miserable. Therefore my drive to find crazy ways to kill my time is much stronger than the rest of the population. One such way is dirt biking. I usually take my bike out in the morning or late evenings and set off to far off villages. Well most of these villages are not electrified, neither does any of them has roads laid out. I believe that these villages can be developed as great dirt biking locations, although I am not pretty much certain that they are fit enough for human settlement. During one such expedition I came face to face with what movie analysts would call dark comedy.
There is this hamlet called Haidurganj on the Gorakhpur-Basti highway. This Muslim dominated locality is exactly like the dozen other villages spread across the highway, except for the fact that it has a mosque which is more magnificent than any other you would find in entire Gorakhpur. The floor is entirely laid with high quality marble. The marble was specially imported from Rajasthan for the construction of the mosque. There is brilliant calligraphy done on the inner side of the dome wall. It would make Steve Jobs proud.  Rahman Chacha tells me those are verses from the Quran. He knows the best. He did it.
However it’s not the mosque which brought me to this village.
One evening while trading with speed I saw a huge crowd encircling a farm tractor. It seemed that the entire village had suddenly developed a reverence for that vehicle. Actually it was Azlaan Shah, an octogenarian from the village, who needed some serious medical attention. He had been ill for quite some time now. He was being carried to the medical college. I noticed something peculiar about the direction in which the tractor left.
It went in the direction opposite to that in which the Gorakhpur Medical College was located.
So were the villagers really tired of Azlaan and wanted him dead? On further inquiry a few people present around told me that the vehicle had left for the medical college. That either meant there were two medical colleges, or I was wrong. I had full faith in my knowledge and more so in the government’s inability to open two medical colleges in the same district. Armed with conviction I went to the only source of reliable information I had, Rahman Chacha. What he told forms the crux of the story.
The facilities available at the state run Gorakhpur Medical College are so unreliable and the treatment so costly that the villagers had lost all trust. The only option they had was to rush the patient to the capital, PGI Lucknow. Such was the state of affairs that the villagers had actually named the Basti-Lucknow stretch of the highway as the Medical College Road. To supplement my dose of enlightenment Rahman took me to a village tour. Characteristic of any eastern UP village there were a large number of rice fields all around. After every half kilometer the crop seemed to be greener, denser and thicker. It appeared as if those five by five stretches were better nourished.
Rahman had an explanation for this.
 According to the village custom the dead were supposed to be buried in their field. After the burial was done that five by five stretch of land was cemented and a stone raised in the honor of the dead. The stone had a few verses from the Quran along with the name of the dead. This should be done when a villager dies. The cementing prevented any further growth of vegetation on that stretch and rice plants would make their way along the boundary of the grave stone.  
In this village the grave was dig as soon as the village folks knew that an elderly was ill. The villagers knew that the guy would be dead before he could reach Lucknow. A six hour journey was asking too much from the patient. Mourning would invariably start once family members saw first signs of critical illness. The Gorakhpur Medical College was a half an hour ride nobody undertook.
There is always a twist in the tale.
Some disobedient fellows time and again managed to escape death. They were brought back to the village amidst great fanfare. What happened to the five by five stretch of land?
During irrigation the dug up part of land had a lot more water accumulated in it, than the adjoining areas. Water retention being the key behind a good harvest, the crop there would be thicker.
It was not extra nourishment through Urea, rather the unused grave which brought about the surplus harvest. The harvest one year, Rahman tells me, was so good that the Panchayat even considered applying for the “Ideal Village Award”.
That was my last visit to Haidurgunj, perhaps I was disgusted, and maybe I lacked courage. I would never know what happened with the grave of Azlaan.
Peepli Live may not be fiction. Look around.

Political Thriller.

What transpired in both the houses of parliament, during the last week, can very easily be turned into a blockbuster script. Here I take account of a few games that were played in the corridors of power.

1) Why did Mamta's TMC oppose the bill in Rajya Sabha, but provided a safe passage in Lok Sabha?

Pranab Mukherjee, Congress' all time damage control man; was in Kolkata one week prior to the scheduled tabling of the bill in the parliament. Mamta had there itself expressed her reservations regarding that part of the bill which talked about the appointment of Lokayuktas in states. This she believed would be violation of the federal structure of the constitution. Mukherjee assured that her grievances would be addressed. On the basis of this assurance Mamta asked her MPs to vote for the Lokpal bill, and also instructed them to react according to the situation in case they felt that her concerns had not been addressed.

A BJD MP spoke in the LS just before it went for the vote. Mamta was watching these proceedings live from her office in Kolkata. On hearing this MP, she realized that her concerns had not actually been addressed. The MP was infact appealing to regional parties like TMC and DMK to oppose the bill. Mamta now knew she had been cheated. She passed a note to the officer present in her office, and asked him to fax the same to the officials at Railway ministry in New Delhi. The note apparently asked TMC MPs to vote against the bill. Railway officials left for the parliament as soon as they received the fax. But since voting had begun, the lobbies of the parliament had been locked for security reasons. Thus Mamta's note could not reach her MPs. Right after voting ended Kalyan Banerjee the party's leader in LS was summoned to explain the failure of MPs to react according to the situation. Kalyan Banerjee explained that he was in the loo when the BJD MP was addressing the parliament. Furious at such trivialization Mamta asked him to resign and so he did.

TMC was extra cautious when the bill was tabled in the Rajya Sabha. Every MP was provided with a cell phone specifically to be in direct contact with Mamta. This led to TMC MPs ferociously opposing the bill in RS.

2) Who is Rajneeti Prasad? 

Rajniti Prasad who came across as the lead role in the badly orchestrated drama in the parliament was the legal counsel for Lalu in the Fodder Scam. Some believe that it was infact Lalu who signaled Rajneeti to go ahead with his performance. Lalu was watching the proceedings throughout from the visitor's gallery.

Happiness

Happyness is not a word.
Happiness is.
Happiness never had a 'Y' in it; it always had an 'I'.

Far too many times we have longed for reasons to be happy, to be with people who would make us feel better. It seems ironical in a way, stupid in many more ways. We always look outside the window for help. Who in the first place made us sad?
How many times have we come across a person who blames himself for all his misery?
Rarely.
More often than not it is the world outside the window which inflicts misery upon us. Yet we seek for their help. And help does arrive. Our wounds are nursed, but the scars remain. The sign of conquest on a conquered land. Once we have been nursed there is a moral obligation to undergo more pain without exhibiting any resistance.
A soldier who died in the battlefield fighting for a lost cause was luckier than the one who was captured alive.
Its like visiting a doctor who injured you the last time you visited him. The world does work in a funny way.
What can be a possible exit from this vicious cycle? Look inside the window. Look at the beautiful paintings on the walls and appreciate the finesse of the fire place. Value the 'I' in happiness. Value yourself.
Why do we underestimate ourselves? Why do we hate ourselves? Why can't you be your best buddy? Too many questions, too many Ys. Think of the 'I'. Think of the only thing you know that has "the hand of God" in it. God created you in his own image.
Spending quality time with yourself is important. Talking to somebody who knows you the best, who knows all about you is important. That somebody is YOU.
Stop looking for reasons and events to be happy.
Look within.And remember; Happiness never had a 'Y' in it, it always had an 'I'

Bulldozed Emotions

You told me to observe and learn from everything that happened around me. That way you said I would grow up to be an intelligent man. But of late it feels I have seen enough. Every new thing is not exactly new. Every event differs from its predecessor in the mode in which it occurs. The underlying sentiments somehow seem to be the same everywhere. I want to share something with you.
Just next to my hostel, in college, there is a small playground. It’s not actually that large to be called a playground, just a small stretch of unutilized land. At one end of this stretch there are a few residential quarters, allotted to the mess workers. Twenty steps from these quarters is a small Shiv temple. From the bathroom of the floor I live in, one gets a clear view of the temple and the quarters. So every time I went to brush my teeth in the mornings or to take a bath, I would come across there life, there style of living. Basic stuff they did in the morning. Men of the household sipping tea, reading the newspaper while the women used to cut vegetables sitting by, preparing for the breakfast.Watching them do all this stuff, became a routine for me as well. Nothing of that was much of my interest, except for one thing. Every day the old lady of the house would walk with the youngest kid to the Shiv temple and offer her prayers. The kid absolutely oblivious of what his grandmother was chanting would just close his eyes and bowed his head down. This scene reminded me vividly of how I as a kid used to travel to the nearby temple with grandmother. This thought made me happy and somehow it felt as if the day had begun well.
 All of this happened before I went home for the holidays.
 The house does not stand anymore.
When I came back all that I could see was rubble. At first it reminded me of the destruction I saw during the Bhuj earthquake. But my hostel and all other buildings in the locality still stood tall, so it could not have been an earthquake. So was it a U.S drone attack? You see it’s not my fault entirely. These days any kind of destruction or war instantly reminds one of the U.S. I was eager to find out what actually had happened.
On further inquiry I came to know that the housings had been demolished to create space for a community center, a state of art community center. I personally feel that it’s ironic that homes have to be demolished to create a place for the community. I somehow feel really bad about things that have transpired.
Now let’s talk about another episode. You know pretty well how farmers, villagers, commoners all across the country have been agitating and fighting to protect their land. At some places there is a threat of a SEZ, at other places it may be due to the construction of a nuclear power plant. This particular issue of land acquisition has been dominating the political discussions of late.
To me both the issues seem intricately connected. Maybe I have not grown up to be that intelligent as you expected. Both the cases are examples of somebody trying to trade emotions with money or facility. Let’s say ours is a honest society and every dislocated family is reimbursed fairly. Is it still fair?
How many of these people would actually leave their homes for the same money, in case they were not subjected to the pressures of development. Development is important but it has become costly. We are paying too much of a cost for it. Governments at best can provide a better house but what about the home? How can strong and sturdy concrete structures replace the web of emotions? We as a society are so busy improving the standards of our LIVING that we have ceased paying importance to LIFE itself.
I don’t know the best way to handle this situation; may be an intelligent man does. I know one thing for sure I would miss seeing the grandmother with the kid.